Really? You *really* think that works??
As many of you know, I have long prided myself on having a bladder made of smthg. akin to steel, but more flexible, which allows me the luxury of avoiding public restrooms in all but the most emergent of cases. Unfortunately -- but expectedly, given my encroaching decrepitude and age (and the fact that I have finally learned to drink the RDA of water) -- Old Faithful has been letting me down lately. More and more often, I find myself having to interrupt road trips or dinners out so that I may have the distinct displeasure of seeking out public facilities.
I know only a few warped individuals who actually enjoy using public toilets (and those I know only through urban legends, not personal acquaintance), but for me, using a toilet other than my own is a singularly distasteful experience. Blame the early exposure to my grandmother's obsessive-compulsive fixation on disease or the fact that I swear I can feel the tiny molecules lingering fr. someone else's, erm, 'secretion' entering my trachea, but either way, I just have a problem w/communal bathrooms. I shudder, I close my eyes and pray, I even hold my breath on occasion, but one thg. I never do is use those little tissue paper toilet seat covers.
In the past, I felt sort of self-conscious that I did not immediately set abt. unfurling and arranging the bit of gossamer that many others seem to feel is a compulsory component of a visit to the public loo (you can hear them rustling!), but I rarely bothered w/this. I never thought abt. it much, but a few wks. ago, entering the restroom at a local grocery store (no, I really couldn't wait til I finished my shopping), I finally discerned why exactly I generally exempt myself fr. this ritual, despite my excessive aversion to municipal facilities.
My rationale is twofold: 1) The simple fact is, that flimsy bit of paper is absolutely not going to prevent any germs fr. getting through. In fact, half the time it only serves to highlight the many areas of the toilet seat that have already been sullied, which serves only to make the experience that much more repulsive. Furthermore, these toilet seat covers are not, to the best of my knowledge, possessed of any sort of anti-bacterial quality, thereby further lessening their utility, which brings me to 2) What a waste of trees. Honestly, consider how many trees are cut down so that ppl. can lay out these useless 'prophylactics.' In this age of global warming, doesn't it make more sense to stop pretending that tissue paper horseshoe you just put down somehow constitutes a feasible line of defense b/t you and germs of unknown origin when you know v. well that if you tried to blow your nose w/that paper, you would have to fold it no fewer than three times in order to prevent fr. blowing straight through??
Protect the planet, forego the toilet seat cover! After all, it doesn't protect you fr. squat!
This just in: GW replaces lemming as Nature's most infamous surge-er
I know only a few warped individuals who actually enjoy using public toilets (and those I know only through urban legends, not personal acquaintance), but for me, using a toilet other than my own is a singularly distasteful experience. Blame the early exposure to my grandmother's obsessive-compulsive fixation on disease or the fact that I swear I can feel the tiny molecules lingering fr. someone else's, erm, 'secretion' entering my trachea, but either way, I just have a problem w/communal bathrooms. I shudder, I close my eyes and pray, I even hold my breath on occasion, but one thg. I never do is use those little tissue paper toilet seat covers.
In the past, I felt sort of self-conscious that I did not immediately set abt. unfurling and arranging the bit of gossamer that many others seem to feel is a compulsory component of a visit to the public loo (you can hear them rustling!), but I rarely bothered w/this. I never thought abt. it much, but a few wks. ago, entering the restroom at a local grocery store (no, I really couldn't wait til I finished my shopping), I finally discerned why exactly I generally exempt myself fr. this ritual, despite my excessive aversion to municipal facilities.
My rationale is twofold: 1) The simple fact is, that flimsy bit of paper is absolutely not going to prevent any germs fr. getting through. In fact, half the time it only serves to highlight the many areas of the toilet seat that have already been sullied, which serves only to make the experience that much more repulsive. Furthermore, these toilet seat covers are not, to the best of my knowledge, possessed of any sort of anti-bacterial quality, thereby further lessening their utility, which brings me to 2) What a waste of trees. Honestly, consider how many trees are cut down so that ppl. can lay out these useless 'prophylactics.' In this age of global warming, doesn't it make more sense to stop pretending that tissue paper horseshoe you just put down somehow constitutes a feasible line of defense b/t you and germs of unknown origin when you know v. well that if you tried to blow your nose w/that paper, you would have to fold it no fewer than three times in order to prevent fr. blowing straight through??
Protect the planet, forego the toilet seat cover! After all, it doesn't protect you fr. squat!
This just in: GW replaces lemming as Nature's most infamous surge-er
I'm not going to go to far into this b/c, in the words of The Smiths, 'That joke isn't funny anymore -- it's too close to home and it's too near the bone,' but my blog just wouldn't be mine if I didn't make some snide remark abt. Pres. Bush's brilliant new Iraq strategy, The Surge. And by 'brilliant' I mean 'dumbest thg. since Napoleon's decision to surge into Russia in winter.' A more recent example of this misguided battle plan would be the Johnson administration's decision to throw more troops into the asymmetrical war in Vietnam, which served only to inflate the US casualty list. Well played, boys.
Words cannot convey my feelings when I learned my husband was to be part of this action. But some that come close are: bitter, frustrated, and I-hate-you-motherfuckers.
Reluctantly joining the Quarter Century Club
Words cannot convey my feelings when I learned my husband was to be part of this action. But some that come close are: bitter, frustrated, and I-hate-you-motherfuckers.
Reluctantly joining the Quarter Century Club
I am now officially 25. Wee-fricking-haw. For a variety of reasons, I was not thrilled abt. this birt-day. Unenthusiastic does not begin to describe it. In spite of this, my 25th turned out to be quite a nice day. These are the thgs. that made it rock:
1) Jill gave me my presents immediately after I woke up, which include the most awesome contact lense case ever, viewable at: http://welltemperedkitchen.com/lucoleca.html She also took me to lunch at the awesome new Indian buffet, where I def. got my $7.50 worth (mmm, black dahl, I love you...).
2) I got an uber-long-distance call fr. Melissa in the Netherlands just before I left for work and had a v. exciting conversation abt. potential Ph.D. opportunities there -- I am slowly but surely beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, professionally speaking.
1) Jill gave me my presents immediately after I woke up, which include the most awesome contact lense case ever, viewable at: http://welltemperedkitchen.com/lucoleca.html She also took me to lunch at the awesome new Indian buffet, where I def. got my $7.50 worth (mmm, black dahl, I love you...).
2) I got an uber-long-distance call fr. Melissa in the Netherlands just before I left for work and had a v. exciting conversation abt. potential Ph.D. opportunities there -- I am slowly but surely beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, professionally speaking.
3) Found the most beautiful skirt at bebe -- on sale.
4) Was offered free highlights and a haircut at a salon I normally cannot afford.
5) Had a wonderful, mellow, entertaining dinner w/my Chas. girls at Kate's adorable house. Thank you, Christy, for making the pizza dough fr. scratch, and thank you, Charlotte, for helping to 'decorate' the Best Pizza Ever.
6) In addition to the perfect I-don't-want-to-be-25 dinner, Christy, Kate, and Charlotte also gave me fabulous presents, including my new favorite purse, jewelry I love but would be too much of a weenie to buy for myself, and a CD I love but would be too embarrassed to buy for myself -- hee hee...
7) Enough phone calls, emails, and general nice-ness to last me til next birt-day. I feel so warm and fuzzy!
25: I don't love it, but it didn't kill me. Yet.
4) Was offered free highlights and a haircut at a salon I normally cannot afford.
5) Had a wonderful, mellow, entertaining dinner w/my Chas. girls at Kate's adorable house. Thank you, Christy, for making the pizza dough fr. scratch, and thank you, Charlotte, for helping to 'decorate' the Best Pizza Ever.
6) In addition to the perfect I-don't-want-to-be-25 dinner, Christy, Kate, and Charlotte also gave me fabulous presents, including my new favorite purse, jewelry I love but would be too much of a weenie to buy for myself, and a CD I love but would be too embarrassed to buy for myself -- hee hee...
7) Enough phone calls, emails, and general nice-ness to last me til next birt-day. I feel so warm and fuzzy!
25: I don't love it, but it didn't kill me. Yet.
