Supposedly our universe is progressing toward ever-increasing chaos. Well, that may be true for the physical macrocosm (I actually don't have a firm enough grasp on physics [or any other scientific discipline for that matter] to argue that point, so I'll just let it go), but in the realm of thgs. more ethereal, I think the evidence clearly indicates a trend toward equilibrium. This would fall in line w/a basic spiritual application of Newton's third law of motion: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. To illustrate this hypothesis, let's examine the last few wks. of my life, starting w/my fantastic trip to Scotland. As chronicled in the entry relating to that wk., thgs. were overwhelmingly fabulous for that period of time. (Though if I felt like spending more time boring you to death belaboring my point, I could highlight the various moments *w/in* that generally good wk. that further demonstrate my point abt. how nothg. good or bad can happen w/o the opposite occurring as well. I'll lv. that to you, my clever friends, in case you get stuck in traffic or a similarly dull situation and need smthg. to mull over to fill time. [haha]) This utterly amazing wk. abroad was quickly followed by a miserable wk. of make-up tests, finals, and three ulcer-inducing days of worrying abt. whether or not my new career plan had been totally destroyed. This, in turn, was followed by the euphoria of discovering all was NOT lost (quite the opposite, really) and remembering that I had a whole bottle of Grey Goose in my liquor cabinet. I then had a pretty neutral wk. of cleaning, knitting, and lazing, which culminated in an AWESOME w/e in Charleston: After getting a super-hot haircut and hanging out at my old place of business where I was flattered and nearly cajoled into coming back, I went home to an evening w/the adopted 'rents, who spoiled me and let me do excessive amts. of laundry. The next night I *finally* got to go to a med school post-test party, where I was able to hang out w/two of my foxy fivers and their new (and old) foxy friends. I was esp. gratified when I accidentally-on-purpose started a little drama b/t Christy's loser ex and his current 'cum dumpster' girlfriend (his words, not mine!). Who knew simply being female and talking to that chump for 15 secs. abt. how we met when he was dating my friend would set his vapid little ferret off like that?! (Okay, so I had heard numerous stories to that effect -- hee hee...) Capped off the night shakin' my ass for two hrs. at Trio, where in addition to having a booty-droppin' good time w/my girls and our adorable male escorts (friends of Christy's, totally innocent), I was pleased to note in my reflection on the mirror running along the back wall of the club that my teeth glowed in the black light. Not in that scary Ross-from-Friends sort of way, but just enough to let me know that my hrs. of dental hygeine are in fact worth it. haha! The next night was a day of shopping w/Jill, followed by Christy's holiday party, which was unquestionably the most delicious social event I have attended all yr. I was able to catch up w/friends I do not see often enough and I got to witness the adorable hilarity that is drunken Brenton (Christy's younger brother). Truly, a fab-o evening.
However, the merriment was somewhat undercut by a reminder that thgs. cannot go well forever. During the party, I learned that one of my good friends fr. HS had been killed in a car accident the night before, along w/his sister. Ben was one of v. few ppl. I met during my brief (but still too-long) sojourn at Lexington HS who didn't make me want to run away screaming. He was hands down one of the nicest, most genuine ppl. I have ever known. He was also funny, clever, sensitive, creative, and a freaking genius. Oh, and he was totally hot. But he didn't know that and he also didn't know that he was pretty much one of the best ppl. in that school, or in the wider world for that matter. He was completely approachable, w/the biggest, most disarming smile and a laugh that was almost as loud as mine. I was always so happy to see him in the hallways or in class. Unfortunately, we lost touch shortly after I left Lexington, but I kept tabs on him periodically through mutual friends and kept the emails he had sent when we were in HS together. A few mos. ago I decided to write him to see what the heck he was up to and to let him know that I still thought of him as one the thgs. that made my time at Lexington not a totally unbearable experience. But I didn't. I kept forgetting or putting it off and meaning to do it... Until finally because I squandered my time like an idiot, I had to find out fr. his obituary that he had become an engineer (holy cow!) and was working at a firm in Columbia. I could easily have seen him any number of times in the last few mos. when I was up there visiting my mom and Chester if I had taken even five mins. to write him and just say, "what's up, bee-yotch?" [He would have laughed at that.] I feel indescribably stupid. It's not as if I didn't know that anythg. can happen and you shouldn't put thgs. off b/c you never know, blahdy blahdy blah. And yet, I am now sitting here sobbing looking at Ben's HS yearbook photo, re-reading the newspaper article abt. the accident, and wondering how on earth I can write his parents to say how amazing their son was and that I am so very, very sorry for their loss (which is doubly hard since they lost both of their children -- how do you even begin to sympathize with that much pain?) when I feel like such a total asshole for not telling *him* how great he was when I had so many chances to do so. The extent of my grief (and tear-induced snot) is incomprehensible to me, given my unfortunate lack of contact w/Ben over the last few yrs., but is perhaps exacerbated by that very same factor. I do not believe I have ever wished so badly I could change one thg. And thus, further evidence to support my not terribly original supposition that it is not possible for thgs. to go right w/o smthg. also going wrong.
B/C I am almost physically incapable of remaining serious for too long (and b/c I may suffocate on my own mucous if I keep crying like this), I'll close w/this little anecdote: I ventured forth into holiday traffic today to get another power cord for Eli's computer and was rewarded by one of the funniest sights ever. I was turning right onto a road just as a little silver convertible VW bug was coming to a stop on said road. The driver of this tiny little car was one of THE FATTEST women I have *ever* seen, and that's saying a lot, given the plethora of lard-fed fatties in this town. This woman was so big I honestly had to wonder how she was able to steer the car b/c there was no space b/t her torso and the steering wheel. If she ever puts the top down, it would probably be a hazard to nearby drivers b/c her ponderous amts. of flub would surely overflow the confines of that tiny vehicle the instant it had room to do so and would dangerously reduce the visibility of all drivers w/in 20 ft. of her. Wow. Ya know, some of you will think me cruel to write that abt. someone I saw only briefly or will think that I am again falling victim to my predilection for hyperbole, but, no. Seriously. She was *that* big. ...And to all a good night!
However, the merriment was somewhat undercut by a reminder that thgs. cannot go well forever. During the party, I learned that one of my good friends fr. HS had been killed in a car accident the night before, along w/his sister. Ben was one of v. few ppl. I met during my brief (but still too-long) sojourn at Lexington HS who didn't make me want to run away screaming. He was hands down one of the nicest, most genuine ppl. I have ever known. He was also funny, clever, sensitive, creative, and a freaking genius. Oh, and he was totally hot. But he didn't know that and he also didn't know that he was pretty much one of the best ppl. in that school, or in the wider world for that matter. He was completely approachable, w/the biggest, most disarming smile and a laugh that was almost as loud as mine. I was always so happy to see him in the hallways or in class. Unfortunately, we lost touch shortly after I left Lexington, but I kept tabs on him periodically through mutual friends and kept the emails he had sent when we were in HS together. A few mos. ago I decided to write him to see what the heck he was up to and to let him know that I still thought of him as one the thgs. that made my time at Lexington not a totally unbearable experience. But I didn't. I kept forgetting or putting it off and meaning to do it... Until finally because I squandered my time like an idiot, I had to find out fr. his obituary that he had become an engineer (holy cow!) and was working at a firm in Columbia. I could easily have seen him any number of times in the last few mos. when I was up there visiting my mom and Chester if I had taken even five mins. to write him and just say, "what's up, bee-yotch?" [He would have laughed at that.] I feel indescribably stupid. It's not as if I didn't know that anythg. can happen and you shouldn't put thgs. off b/c you never know, blahdy blahdy blah. And yet, I am now sitting here sobbing looking at Ben's HS yearbook photo, re-reading the newspaper article abt. the accident, and wondering how on earth I can write his parents to say how amazing their son was and that I am so very, very sorry for their loss (which is doubly hard since they lost both of their children -- how do you even begin to sympathize with that much pain?) when I feel like such a total asshole for not telling *him* how great he was when I had so many chances to do so. The extent of my grief (and tear-induced snot) is incomprehensible to me, given my unfortunate lack of contact w/Ben over the last few yrs., but is perhaps exacerbated by that very same factor. I do not believe I have ever wished so badly I could change one thg. And thus, further evidence to support my not terribly original supposition that it is not possible for thgs. to go right w/o smthg. also going wrong.
B/C I am almost physically incapable of remaining serious for too long (and b/c I may suffocate on my own mucous if I keep crying like this), I'll close w/this little anecdote: I ventured forth into holiday traffic today to get another power cord for Eli's computer and was rewarded by one of the funniest sights ever. I was turning right onto a road just as a little silver convertible VW bug was coming to a stop on said road. The driver of this tiny little car was one of THE FATTEST women I have *ever* seen, and that's saying a lot, given the plethora of lard-fed fatties in this town. This woman was so big I honestly had to wonder how she was able to steer the car b/c there was no space b/t her torso and the steering wheel. If she ever puts the top down, it would probably be a hazard to nearby drivers b/c her ponderous amts. of flub would surely overflow the confines of that tiny vehicle the instant it had room to do so and would dangerously reduce the visibility of all drivers w/in 20 ft. of her. Wow. Ya know, some of you will think me cruel to write that abt. someone I saw only briefly or will think that I am again falling victim to my predilection for hyperbole, but, no. Seriously. She was *that* big. ...And to all a good night!
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