"What the...?"

So said most of the greater Charleston area during yesterday's commute when we all realized that the really thick, opaque "rain" falling was in fact snow, the earliest snowfall in Charleston's recorded history. I, being familiar w/this phenomenon and a rather impatient person, though to myself, "Huh. Well, I'll be damned, " and went along my slightly-over-the-speed-limit way. Or at least I tried to.

There exists a stereotype that Southerners are simply unable to drive in the snow. Like most stereotypes, this one exists for a reason; most ppl. fr. South of D.C. either barracade themselves in their homes at the sight of the first flake, or they brave the roads, which leads to one of two outcomes: 1) they end up in a ditch, or 2) they crawl along at the speed of 2, terrified that they will end up in a ditch and wholly unconcerned w/the fact that there are other ppl. on the road who would like to reach their destinations before Christ comes back. There were plenty of ppl. who took the first approach, opting to batton down the hatches rather than go outside, which meant that my formerly busy morning work schedule disintegrated rapidly. And good thg. it did, b/c of those who were on the road yesterday, more than a few fell into Southern Snow Drivers Category 2 (They Who Are Super Slow), causing my drive to work to be even more irritating and protracted than usual.

This irksome over-representation is probably explained by the fact that since the snow was not actually accumulating anywhere yesterday, there was little risk of ditch diving -- thereby eliminating a number of ppl. belonging to Southern Snow Drivers Category 1 -- but I guess no one else on the road got that message b/c as more ppl. started to realize that it was snow, not rain, falling on their windshield, traffic slowed exponentially. On a road whose speed limit is 55 m.p.h., I could not find anyone going faster than 35. It was as if they were all trying to stop and stare at the snow while still technically operating a vehicle.

I love the South. No, really, I do. I love the hot weather, I love the fried everythg., I love the iced sweet tea. I just don't love Southern Snow Drivers, particularly those of the Category 2 persuasion. At least the Category 1 guys end up off the road and out of my way. Yes, that's right, I am saying I would prefer someone to be in a ditch than to have him or her impeding my automotive progress. Yes, of course I'm going to Hell, which in my case will be cold rather than hot and will probably involve a perpetual commute in snowy conditions w/only the worst of the Category 2 types around me.

Until that time, though, I can pray that there will be no more snow this yr. while I sit back and enjoy my Thanksgiving feast of green bean casserole w/fried onion topping, mashed potatoes w/a whole stick of real butter in them, sweet potatoes w/fried marshmallow topping, collard greens, and biscuits w/a butter glaze. For the meat eaters in my group, there will be a turkey, deep fried in peanut oil, as is the delicious Southern way. Happy Thanksgiving, all you A-murr-icans -- esp. those of you fr. the South who stay home when it snows.

Kerry was right.

Or at least he was more right than all of the ppl. saying he was wrong.

If you live in North America and you have turned on your television or had access to any sort of news outlet in the last 24 hrs., you have undoubtedly heard abt. Sen. Kerry's recent gaffe. After all, it is the only thg. happening in the world right now, or so it would seem if one were to judge by the incessant media coverage. In case you have had the good fortune not to be subjected to this vapid onslaught, the general idea is that yesterday during a campaign rally for a California gubernatorial candidate, Kerry was giving a speech during which he made several snide remarks regarding Pres. Bush. None of them were v. funny, though they were apparently meant to be, but the one that got the attention of everyone is a joke that Kerry says he delivered incorrectly. Instead of saying, "Do you know where you end up if you don’t study, if you aren’t smart, if you’re intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq. Just ask President Bush, " he said, "You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”

The humor of the original version is unsophisticated at best, but it would have been less inflammatory. As one would expect, Republican pundits and media outlets of all political leanings immediately latched on to the remark, presenting it as an egregious affront to those serving in the armed forces and portraying Kerry -- a decorated veteran, remember -- as anti-military and erego anti-American.

Was Kerry wrong to make such a statement in public, at an event likely to be videotaped and attended by ppl. waiting for him to make such a blunder? Of course. Does Kerry have the charisma and humor of a vegetable and less common sense than an inbred chihuahua? So it would seem. But was he wrong in his (mis)statement that poor grades and unremarkable school performance leave you w/few career options beyond the military? Not really, no.

What I find so baffling abt. this whole "controversy" is the fact that in no way is it considered news that the military is staffed largely by ppl. w/undistinguised academic records, low socioeconomic status, and few occupational alternatives. Of course there are exceptions to this generalization. But by and large, the US military is not exactly the best and brightest. That does not mean that I don't respect (most of) our soldiers and the job they do -- I am married to one, for Pete's sake -- but I'm not going to disregard decades worth of statistics and reports that clearly demonstrate the military is at best a place where ppl. who lack the requisite cognitive skills to get a good job in the civilian world can make a decent living, and at worst it is an instrument of social oppression, courting and catering to the economically, socially, and, yes, intellectually disadvantaged of our nation, while doing little to actually improve their standing or well-being. In fact, during the Vietnam War, the US military lowered the basic intelligence requirement necessary for a person to become a soldier to a level that is frightening on so many levels (e.g, do you really want a person w/an IQ of 75 carrying an automatic weapon?, or is our government really so willing to exploit these ppl., even w/the copious amts. of research showing such ppl. are at greater risk for death, injury, and psychological trauma?), and these diminished standards persist in today's military, particularly in the Army and the Marines, both of whom have accepted people w/Armed Forces Qualifying Test (AFQT) scores as low as 26 in recent mos. in an effort to make up for recruiting shortfalls. The AFQT is a variation of your standard IQ test, scored on a 100 point scale. So 26 is pretty dang low. It is so low, actually, that Congress placed severe limitations on the number of ppl. who could legally be recruited fr. that population, but there is little oversight or enforcement of those standards, esp. now during such desperate times.

I realize that is an extreme example and certainly not everyone who joins the military will have an AFQT score in the lowest percentile ranking allowed. But it also stands to reason that ppl. at the other extreme -- those who score 90 or above -- are also few in number. Normally, simple statistics would dictate that the everyone else would be somewhat evenly distributed among the remaining intelligence levels, but when examining the intelligence of the miltary population, you must remember one further factor: most smart ppl. self-select out. That is, more ppl. on the higher end of middling intelligence do not join the military in the first place. Why would they when they can go get better jobs in the civilian world that don't carry a substantial risk of death of injury? You therefore end up w/a skewed version of the bell curve and that skew tends definitively toward the low end of thgs. in terms of brain power.

Sadly, the US military today is a catchment for ppl. who are too poor, too stupid, or too lazy to succeed in the civilian world (though there are plenty of stupid ppl. out there, too, to be sure) and there is every indication that those in power know this and use it to their advantage. I honestly thought everyone knew this already -- it has come up in conversation numerous times in my life w/ppl. of all different backgrounds, inc. many who are currently serving in the military -- which is why I have been so puzzled as to why the media started foaming at the mouth as soon as Kerry stuttered out his not-funny-to-begin-with joke. Due to Gary's obsession w/cable news networks, I have had the distinct displeasure of hearing/watching every story on every station related to this happening. They all have one thg in common, other than being exceedingly annoying, and that is that they have completely disregarded the actual truth (i.e., the military is actually not known for its intelligence) in favor of sensationalism and rabble-rousing.

The media has misrepresented facts, taken thgs. so far out of context that they are almost unrecognizable, and, worse, have missed an opportunity to address a REAL issue here. The media has focused on John Kerry's unfortunate, moronic bumbling of a bad joke and have spent the last 24 hrs. "beating him like a baby seal", in the words of Gary. They have limited the scope of this story to that one man and have completely missed the chance to bring a more substantial problem to the fore. Rather than asking how the military is allowed to recruit ppl. who 30 yrs. ago would not have been deemed smart enough to attend public school, or asking why after so many yrs. the military is still staffed predominately by ppl. of low socioeconomic background, or discussing the potential connection between lowered military efficacy and lowered cognitive enlistment standards, rather than doing any of these potentially worthwhile and certainly more newsworthy thgs., the media has instead spent an entire day calling John Kerry an idiot.

Idiot though he may be, and although he said his statement was a mistake, John Kerry was right -- "education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq," or working for the media where it seems that neither a brain nor scruples are required.