Watching the Grammy awards w/Bea, the Black Eyed Peas just started 'I Got a Feeling', everyone wearing costumes that make me think of 'Back to the Future II' when Marty goes to the year 2010 (or something like that) and everyone is driving flying cars and wearing very technological-looking clothes; ya know, the cliche of 'the future'. In fact, BEP just finished the song, screaming out, 'WELCOME TO THE FUTURE!!!' All very peppy and well done.
Watching this performance took me back in a very visceral way to New Year's Eve: Stephane and I at Moulin sur Mer, the most stressful thing on our mind was finding a white outfit for me to wear to the theme party that night. The Black Eyed Peas' 'I Got a Feeling' was playing every 30 minutes, an optimistic audio backdrop to a day of snorkeling, drinking, and admiring Moulin sur Mer's comprehensive plans for development and expansion. That night Stephane and I enjoyed a beautiful time under the stars at the beach, and he told me that New Year's Eve should always be celebrated in top form b/c the popular belief is that however you start your year is a harbinger of the 365 days that follow. For some reason I felt like I could believe this and was euphoric as the fireworks started at midnight, contemplating the happy year ahead of us.
Until 12 January, I think the new year was on track to live up to popular lore -- warm, happy, and vibrant, just like our New Year's Eve.
Now it seems more like my New Year's Day, most of which I spent immobilized by a hangover, trying not to breathe too hard lest I throw up.
I have a hard time remembering life before this and believing that it can be that way again. I know that is irrational, but watching the Black Eyed Peas tonight was more like watching a re-enactment of my past, not a glimpse of a better future.
Watching this performance took me back in a very visceral way to New Year's Eve: Stephane and I at Moulin sur Mer, the most stressful thing on our mind was finding a white outfit for me to wear to the theme party that night. The Black Eyed Peas' 'I Got a Feeling' was playing every 30 minutes, an optimistic audio backdrop to a day of snorkeling, drinking, and admiring Moulin sur Mer's comprehensive plans for development and expansion. That night Stephane and I enjoyed a beautiful time under the stars at the beach, and he told me that New Year's Eve should always be celebrated in top form b/c the popular belief is that however you start your year is a harbinger of the 365 days that follow. For some reason I felt like I could believe this and was euphoric as the fireworks started at midnight, contemplating the happy year ahead of us.
Until 12 January, I think the new year was on track to live up to popular lore -- warm, happy, and vibrant, just like our New Year's Eve.
Now it seems more like my New Year's Day, most of which I spent immobilized by a hangover, trying not to breathe too hard lest I throw up.
I have a hard time remembering life before this and believing that it can be that way again. I know that is irrational, but watching the Black Eyed Peas tonight was more like watching a re-enactment of my past, not a glimpse of a better future.
2 comments:
Sounds like some very normal, appropriate feelings in light of all you've been through lately...thinking of you with much love, Meem
Thinking about you- give me a call at some point.
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